Here’s a 21st century dilemma that your grandmother probably didn’t have to deal with: What do you do with your baby during your wedding? While many mothers are getting remarried, other mothers are getting married for the first time, usually to the father of their babies. This creates an unusual predicament… do you invite your own baby to your wedding, or leave them at home with a sitter? Of course, there is no easy answer, but there are some possible solutions. The following guidelines are here to make baby duty on your wedding day a breeze:

Hire A Caregiver

Whether your baby is going to be at your wedding or at home, you should hire a caregiver. No matter how much you love your child, you are going too busy to take care of them on your wedding day. You may be thinking that mom or grandma can take care of the baby, right? Think again……If you have close family members who will share baby duty on your wedding day, this could work. However, consider the fact that your family wants to celebrate, too. After all, which would you rather do: change dirty diapers or dance in a wedding dress that you’re only wearing once?

Should Your Baby Be In Your Wedding?

Your twelve-month-old would look precious in a frilly dress; how can you not resist making her your maid of honor? Here is a list of pros and cons to consider before you purchase that miniature Vera Wang.

Cons

Babies are very unpredictable. No matter how long they’ve napped, no matter that they are always an angel at 11:00 a.m., you simply cannot bank on anything on your wedding day. If infants are unpredictable, toddlers are miniature land mines waiting to explode, so think twice before you transform your two-year-old into a flower girl. Sometimes you can delegate your two year old for something else in your wedding. We have seen where an older child will walk the two year old down the isle as flower girls and we have also seen grandparents walking hand in hand with a toddler in the middle. The two ideas are a great way to have the young ones be involved with appropriate supervision.

A Few Things To Consider:

If your baby sees you, she will want you. You have to know this- babies are too small to understand that this is one of the most important days of your life and they must remain quiet. It doesn’t work like that on “baby time”.

Cons

Holding your baby may not always be convenient, and it may result in spit up, or at least a little baby slobber, on your gown. Babies spit up. Oh sure, some don’t. However, most of the ones we’ve known do. Even if you don’t mind a little curdled milk on your dress, your bridesmaids might.

If you can’t hold your baby when they want you, they may get upset. If they’ve got good lungs, they might even be able to drown out your string quartet!

Sometimes, its simply not fair to the child…..hmm, be up by 8am or earlier, wear a frilly dress all day, be handed to different family members, be quiet during ceremony, go outside, smile for camera, don’t spit up, don’t cry, smile for everyone new I meet, try to nap, try to get my food, smile some more, and who is changing my diaper? Think women, plan your child’s day for your wedding day.

Pros

On the other hand, the worst case scenario could make for a hilarious family moment and the laughter could put everyone at ease. No matter what babies do, most people think they’re adorable and cute. And its your baby- WHO CARES- you are both the bride and the mother!

Your baby will be in your wedding photos. If he/she is there, they’ll be the subject of many photo ops. Mommy holding baby. Baby cutting the wedding cake. Baby climbing up the wedding cake!

Your baby will be part of the second most important moment of your life (the first being giving birth to them!). Many moms wouldn’t trade that for the most perfect wedding in the world. Remember, there is no such thing as perfect, but there is something called special and that’s what you should be aiming for.

Photographs

If your baby and caregiver are off-site, consider having them come by for formal photos before the ceremony. Ask the photographer to get the shots that include the little one before snapping all those close-ups of you and your hands. That way, baby’s photo session will be short and sweet.

If your baby is on-site, it will be easy to find your little angel for a photo or two. Just don’t expect them to say cheese when you want them to. If all else fails, you and your new husband can always dress up in your wedding outfits a few days after the wedding and have pictures taken with your baby. Years from now, no one will know the difference.

If you are planning to have your baby at your wedding, make sure there is a quiet place to take them if things get too stimulating. And lastly, if you truly long for an elegant wedding without the distraction of your child, you are not a bad mother. There will be many occasions to celebrate with your baby. In fact, don’t blink — it may not be long before you’re dressing up for their wedding!